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frogmajickThis Christmas has been weird. I have this overwhelming fear it's my last, though I'm trying very hard not to entertain thoughts like that. It's also weird because the kids are grown. The magic that comes with little kids and Christmas and Santa and the whole package is gone. Teegan came over but he was jacked up on sugar and it was kind of chaos. Cody made lasagna yesterday, but rather than family dinner, we all just microwaved some when we were hungry. Add to that we are fucking broke as a joke. My Christmas haul is- A fuzzy throw blanket with Snoopy on it, a pair of shoelaces I really needed, and a pair of work boot insoles. And yes, I got a kitchen aid and an amazing dehumidifier, but now I wish I'd at least saved and wrapped the boxes because ngl it was kind of depressing.
We're going to take Christmas down and put it away next week, before the 1st, just so it's sorted before my surgery. Also depressing.
I need to clean my room, too, before surgery. That's going to take hours. Not really, but it'll feel like it.
Work has been absolutely insane. Holiday prep is always hard, but I'm also training and there's just so much. I'm so tired, and I physically can't do 40 hours, but the way holiday prep/GM/BigBook/Seahawks has been going there's just so much work. Pile onto that all the union stuff I'm doing because of the merger and it's a lot. I sleep all I can, which means I have work and sleep and no life to speak of.
And then there's omicron. I can't get a booster til post-surgery because it effects the lymph nodes and makes it harder to take out what needs addressed. So I wait. And in the mean time this shit is EVERYWHERE. I've made it so far without catching it, but I'm afraid it's really just a matter of time until we all get it.
It's never going to be okay again. Every day that passes I get more and more depressed about the future. The weather is getting worse everywhere. There's social unrest, civil unrest, crazy racism, this insanity of the Q people and how violent people are willing to be, and the rich. I feel like something really bad is coming. I feel about the future in general the way I feel about my mastectomy. Something is coming and it's going to be awful. I doubt very much anything will happen here, but that's not the point. There's going to be a war. I can feel it.
I used to say "The Before" like a little knowing joke, but now I'm realizing it's true. The Before. I'm going to be telling Teegan things he's probably are going to think are absolute bullshit in 10 years. The way my own kids think I'm full of shit when I say we used to smoke in bars and you used to just be able to walk to your plane with all your friends without security or hassle.
I've just been sitting with the relentless passage of time. And it's so fast. It was literally just Halloween a couple weeks ago and Thanksgiving like last week. And now it's Christmas and New Year and surgery leave and back to work and it just never fucking stops.
We're going to take Christmas down and put it away next week, before the 1st, just so it's sorted before my surgery. Also depressing.
I need to clean my room, too, before surgery. That's going to take hours. Not really, but it'll feel like it.
Work has been absolutely insane. Holiday prep is always hard, but I'm also training and there's just so much. I'm so tired, and I physically can't do 40 hours, but the way holiday prep/GM/BigBook/Seahawks has been going there's just so much work. Pile onto that all the union stuff I'm doing because of the merger and it's a lot. I sleep all I can, which means I have work and sleep and no life to speak of.
And then there's omicron. I can't get a booster til post-surgery because it effects the lymph nodes and makes it harder to take out what needs addressed. So I wait. And in the mean time this shit is EVERYWHERE. I've made it so far without catching it, but I'm afraid it's really just a matter of time until we all get it.
It's never going to be okay again. Every day that passes I get more and more depressed about the future. The weather is getting worse everywhere. There's social unrest, civil unrest, crazy racism, this insanity of the Q people and how violent people are willing to be, and the rich. I feel like something really bad is coming. I feel about the future in general the way I feel about my mastectomy. Something is coming and it's going to be awful. I doubt very much anything will happen here, but that's not the point. There's going to be a war. I can feel it.
I used to say "The Before" like a little knowing joke, but now I'm realizing it's true. The Before. I'm going to be telling Teegan things he's probably are going to think are absolute bullshit in 10 years. The way my own kids think I'm full of shit when I say we used to smoke in bars and you used to just be able to walk to your plane with all your friends without security or hassle.
I've just been sitting with the relentless passage of time. And it's so fast. It was literally just Halloween a couple weeks ago and Thanksgiving like last week. And now it's Christmas and New Year and surgery leave and back to work and it just never fucking stops.