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Aug. 23rd, 2021 05:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
frogmajickCW: Body stuff, specifically I hate it
So I've lost 100lb. Rah rah hurray, I'd be happier if it wasn't because I'm fucking sick.
100lbs ago I didn't like my body, but I was ok with it. I was soft, and I was comfortable.
Now? My face thinned out and I'm wrinkly. My skin feels old. I have a neck waddle. My stomach is deflated and puckery. My arms are just as big but now flabby as fuck with residual fat and skin. The inside of my thighs looks like I'm 80.
I love what my body can do now. I moved all last weekend and going up and down stairs a million times and my legs never even got quivery. Never were sore. Tired, yeah, but not sore. I can fit in narrow places better, which is good because the bathroom is super narrow. My joints, in general, hurt less. I haven't had to wear my knee brace in idk how long.
But the way I look. My belly is 4 lobes. I look like a sow. Boobs, lobes lobes. And they draw in in the middle so when I sit it's like having another butt.
I do not feel attractive naked. I don't want to see myself, which fuck me, the new house has a giant mirror right across from the shower and the fan's good enough it doesn't fog up.
I have no idea what to do about this, either, because I look like I've melted. I have skin everywhere. No amount of gym is going to make my skin fit 100lb less.
So I've lost 100lb. Rah rah hurray, I'd be happier if it wasn't because I'm fucking sick.
100lbs ago I didn't like my body, but I was ok with it. I was soft, and I was comfortable.
Now? My face thinned out and I'm wrinkly. My skin feels old. I have a neck waddle. My stomach is deflated and puckery. My arms are just as big but now flabby as fuck with residual fat and skin. The inside of my thighs looks like I'm 80.
I love what my body can do now. I moved all last weekend and going up and down stairs a million times and my legs never even got quivery. Never were sore. Tired, yeah, but not sore. I can fit in narrow places better, which is good because the bathroom is super narrow. My joints, in general, hurt less. I haven't had to wear my knee brace in idk how long.
But the way I look. My belly is 4 lobes. I look like a sow. Boobs, lobes lobes. And they draw in in the middle so when I sit it's like having another butt.
I do not feel attractive naked. I don't want to see myself, which fuck me, the new house has a giant mirror right across from the shower and the fan's good enough it doesn't fog up.
I have no idea what to do about this, either, because I look like I've melted. I have skin everywhere. No amount of gym is going to make my skin fit 100lb less.